Emotional dysregulation means your emotional responses are hard to control, or they feel stronger than a situation calls for. It’s sometimes called mood swings, emotional lability, or marked mood fluctuation.
Marc A. Brackett, PhD, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Dealing With Feeling, says emotion regulation comes down to how we deal with our feelings. “Are we choosing strategies that are helpful or unhelpful — for our well-being, our relationships, our workplace goals, or being a good parent?”
When those strategies don’t come easily, emotions can start to take over. You might react more strongly than you mean to or find it hard to settle down once you’re upset. Over time, that can affect your mental health, physical health, and relationships.
What Are the Symptoms of Emotional Dysregulation?
Your feelings can take over your thoughts and body before you have a chance to decide what to do with them. When that happens, your heart may race, your muscles may tighten, and it can be hard to think straight.
Brackett says that when someone with emotional dysregulation gets overwhelmed, it can seem like you’re “saturated with all your feelings, like you’re suffocating.” In that state, even small problems can seem big, and it may take time for your body and mind to reset.
These reactions can look different for everyone. But common signs of emotional dysregulation include:
- Severe depression
- Anxiety
- High levels of shame and anger
- Self-harm
- Excessive substance use
- High-risk sexual behaviors
- Extreme perfectionism
- Trouble understanding your emotions (alexithymia)
- Conflict in interpersonal relationships
- Eating disorder
- Suicidal thoughts or attempts
If you’re unsure whether emotional dysregulation fits, take a moment to think about how you respond to stress or big feelings. You might also ask yourself:
- Do I often feel emotions more strongly or longer than other people seem to?
- Do I have trouble calming down once I’m upset or anxious?
- Do I know what I’m feeling, or do I just feel “off” without being sure why?
- Do I get triggered often with my friends, spouse, kids, or coworkers?
- Do my emotions sometimes lead me to say or do things I regret?
If many of these sound familiar, emotional dysregulation could be playing a role. But it’s something you can learn to manage over time and with support.
What Causes Emotional Dysregulation?
Experts think that when you experience emotional dysregulation, your “emotional brakes” may not work as they should. Certain neurotransmitters don’t calm the body as effectively, keeping you stuck in a prolonged “fight-or-flight” response.
During times of heightened stress, your prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and emotional control — may temporarily go offline.
Brackett says emotional regulation skills often depend on what we’re taught or not taught growing up. For instance, when feelings are ignored or judged in childhood, you may grow up without the tools to handle big emotions.
Here are a few different reasons why someone may develop emotional dysregulation:
Early childhood trauma
These are traumatic events experienced during the early years of a person’s life. This is considered the most critical developmental period in human life.
Child neglect
A form of abuse from caregivers that results in a deprivation of a child’s basic needs, including adequate supervision, health care, clothing, housing, and other physical, emotional, social, educational, and safety needs.
Traumatic brain injury
A brain dysfunction caused by an outside force, usually a violent blow to the head.
Chronic low levels of invalidation
This occurs when a person’s thoughts and feelings are rejected, ignored, or judged.
What Disorders Are Related to Emotional Dysregulation?
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
ADHD is a brain-based condition that affects focus, impulse control, and how you manage emotions. Many people with ADHD have trouble controlling their emotions. It can look like frustration, irritability, or sudden mood changes.
Studies show these reactions are tied to how parts of the brain that handles stress, attention, and emotional control work together.
Anxiety and depression
Both anxiety and depression can make emotions harder to manage. When you’re anxious, your body stays on alert, which can heighten irritability or fear. When you’re depressed, small stressors can feel overwhelming, and it’s harder to bounce back.
Emotional dysregulation can make both conditions worse by feeding cycles of rumination and worry.
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD)
ASD is a brain-based condition that affects how you talk, feel, and connect with others. Many people with autism feel big emotions and have a hard time calming down. If you have ASD, your brain may process sights, sounds, and stress in a stronger way. This can lead to meltdowns, shutdowns, or quick mood shifts when things change or you feel too much.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
PTSD is a mental health condition caused by experiencing or witnessing a life-threatening traumatic event. It’s often characterized by severe emotional dysregulation. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, uncontrollable negative thoughts, dissociation, and emotional numbing.
Borderline personality disorder
This is a mental health disorder that affects the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems with functioning in everyday life. It includes self-image issues, trouble managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.
People with a borderline personality disorder often experience emotional dysregulation and have greater emotional sensitivity, emotional reactivity, and trouble returning to a baseline emotional level that feels stable.
Frontal lobe disorders
When the brain’s frontal lobes are damaged — usually due to injury — it can cause emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, lack of impulse control, attention deficit disorder, impaired decision-making, and lack of motivation.
Typically, frontal lobe disorders result from explosive violence, often experienced during combat in war zones. But it can also be experienced by people who have a brain infection, cancer, stroke, or a neurodegenerative disease.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
OCD is a mental health condition that causes repeated unwanted thoughts, obsessions, or the urge to do something over and over again. This disruption of the thinking (prefrontal) part of the brain can cause significant emotional dysregulation.
Treating Emotional Dysregulation
With the right tools and support, you can build emotional regulation skills and feel more in control, no matter your age. “A lot of people think, well, if I didn’t learn this in childhood, then it’s too late,” Brackett says. “My response is that it’s never too early, and it’s never too late.”
Brackett teaches people to use what he calls “strategy buckets” to manage emotions more effectively. His top three are:
- Acceptance: Remind yourself it’s okay to have feelings, whatever they are.
- Labeling: Accurately name what you feel so you can choose the right response.
- Compassion: Replace harsh inner talk with kind self-talk, or reach out for support.
The goal, he says, is to find healthy ways to calm your body and steady your mind. “You can call a good friend, do physical activity, take a nap, go eat some great food,” Brackett says. “These are all things that we do to help us regulate our emotions.”
Everyday strategies like these are a good place to start. But if strong emotions still feel too hard to manage, professional care can help. Treatment for emotional dysregulation may include one or more of the following:
Counseling
Typically, this will include dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) or other types of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). These evidence-based talk therapies teach skills such as mindfulness, emotional awareness, distress tolerance, acceptance, and relationship skills.
Antidepressant medications
Your doctor may prescribe antidepressants or mood stabilizers. These medicines work in different ways and have different side effects. Your doctor can help you find one that works well for you.
Diet and exercise
Pairing therapy or medication with nutritious meals and regular physical activity supports both physical and emotional health. If you need help getting started, ask your doctor for a referral to a dietitian or exercise therapist.
Skill-building
To help achieve better emotional regulation, a mental health professional may teach you ways to pause before reacting, express emotions safely, and return to a more stable baseline after stress.
Managing underlying conditions
Sometimes, emotional dysregulation stems from another health issue. Your doctor can check for and treat physical or mental conditions that may affect your mood.
Psychological tools
A professional mental health care provider can help you learn and practice strategies that can build confidence and self-esteem. This could include things such as learning something new, completing an important goal, volunteering, or finding purpose through work.
When to See a Doctor
You’re not alone. If you’re concerned that you may have mood lability or emotional regulation problems, visit your doctor or a licensed mental health professional.
Seek help right away if you:
- Develop emotional dysregulation suddenly
- Feel hopeless or have thoughts of self-harm or suicide
- Notice your emotions are interfering with your work, relationships, or daily life
- Can’t calm down or think clearly after strong emotional reactions
- Turn to alcohol, food, or other substances to manage stress
- Have frequent outbursts or emotional reactions that don’t match the situation
If you’re in a crisis, call 911. You can also call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Chat online at 988lifeline.org. Support is available 24/7.
Even if your symptoms aren’t serious, talking with a therapist or counselor can help you learn practical strategies to manage emotions and build skills.
Takeaways
Emotional dysregulation isn’t a formal diagnosis. It means your feelings come on fast and strong or feel hard to control.
You might have big mood swings, angry outbursts, or lingering sadness. These ups and downs can spill into your work, relationships, or daily life.
Trouble managing emotions can stem from things such as early trauma, neglect, or even a brain injury. It’s also common in conditions like autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, PTSD, borderline personality disorder, or OCD.
But you can learn to manage it. Therapy, medication, and healthy habits such as exercise, good sleep, and balanced meals can help. With the right support, emotional regulation is possible.
FAQs
Is emotional dysregulation a mental health disorder?
No. Emotional dysregulation isn’t a disorder on its own. But it does show up in many mental health conditions, including borderline personality disorder, PTSD, anxiety, ADHD, and depression.
Can you cure emotional dysregulation?
There's no cure for emotional dysregulation, but you can get better with treatment. Talk therapy, especially DBT or CBT, helps you build emotional regulation skills. For some people, antidepressants or mood stabilizers can help.
What does emotional dysregulation look like in adults?
Adults may have intense mood swings, angry outbursts, or trouble maintaining relationships. You might cry easily, feel anxious after small stressors, or have trouble calming down once you get upset. Some people turn to alcohol, food, or risky behaviors as a coping mechanism.
